I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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