dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
