Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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