The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
