I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
