he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish i was in the wii world.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
