I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
