Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
