i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
