I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
