I wish I could teleport
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Damn victory sex feels great
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
