This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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