Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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