It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
