I faked an abortion last night.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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