you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
