she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize