Is it normal to miss your booty call?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
