grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
