so that wasnt chicken after all
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
