Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We have started to decorate penises.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
