I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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