dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
