No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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