Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
