Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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