I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
