I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
