what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
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