I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize