she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
