hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
