Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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