they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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