I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
