ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
