She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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