it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
