Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
BRING THE BAGELS
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
