in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
