you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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