so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
