I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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