Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
