So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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