I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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