Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
