FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
