Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
