He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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