Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have feelings that need drinking.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
