Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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