(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We got so high we made milksteak
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
