ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
