idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think i got beer on your cat.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
