Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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