is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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