What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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