You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
