The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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