Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
