it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
